A Twist of Things to Come

So much going on, from all sides. Here's a short list:

1. Sister rolled her SUV on the ice yesterday. She drives a longish way over twisty mountain roads to work every day, and the accident happened on the way home last night. While dangling upside down form her seatbelt, she collected her phone and computer before exiting the vehicle. *snrk* Those are some familiar priorities. She's okay. Possible mild concussion, but they checked her out in the hospital.

2. Some nutter shot a democratic congresswoman in Arizona, one who had been targeted (with actual little target symbols) by certain elements prominent in conservative circles. I blame the disturbed individual who pulled the trigger (18 people were injured, six known to be dead). But I cannot help thinking that this is exactly the sort of thing that happens when the rhetoric gets as radical as it has in recent years. I am... vexed.

3. Finally got around to consuming the entirety of the BBC The Office. Both series and the special. Found it oddly... infuriating isn't the word I'm after. Pretty sure I just don't fully appreciate Ricky Gervais, am not capable of it. He was funny, and all, but it was everyone else that really made me giggle. There were also a lot more sex jokes than in the American version, but that is no surprise.

4. I've also just discovered Black Books and Dylan Moran, which are both quite amusing. Black Books is kind of a one long drunk joke, and I'm only three episodes in, but I really enjoy Moran's stand-up. Here's a taste of it, ripping on Americans:



Also under the heading of Tousle-Headed Men Who Amuse Me, here's Josh Groban singing Kanye West's Tweets:



That's just too funny, and is right up there with James Van Der Memes for the self-deprecating humor, which is awesome.

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The Funny helps with the ARGH, it really does.

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Wee Boy tested today for entrance into the Lusher School, where his brother attends. I'm just sort of glad it's over. Whether or not he gets in, the pressure is off for now.

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I'm over 100,000 words on my novel, right down to the climax. Then the Massive Edit of Editingness begins. I'm looking forward to that, because it will mean that I'm DONE with this draft. Almost there.

First off, via narniadear, is The Oatmeal's The # Most Common Uses of Irony. It's utterly fabulous, and renders meta discussions on what is or is not irony in the clearest terms I've encountered. I think I may post a link to this the next time such a discussion gets going. It's got to be better than stuffing my fingers in my ears and shouting, "Shut up, Shut UP, SHUT UP!"

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Speaking of Irony (via layla_aaron ), check this out: Church's Giant, Ugly 'Touchdown Jesus' destroyed by 'Act of God'. I'd have to say that the main reason churches make my navel pucker is extravagances like that... structure. I've been to churches that wouldn't spare one of their bajillion buses to bring people from 'poor' (read: largely immigrant) neighborhoods, because they really needed them all to shuttle people from their satellite parking lots to the main church, but they'd spend a million dollars on an advert to convince the already mostly homophobic population of Georgia that their children would be raped in the streets if they didn't vote for an extra-crispy gay marriage ban amendment to the state constitution.

Which is not to say that some churches don't spend their money to help people, because some do. Others build giant Jesus lightning rods to show people on the interstate how righteous they are.

Eep. Sorry for the rant.

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In the "Dudes, REALLY NOT HELPING" department, I give you this (via hedgegoth):

(As an aside, NEVER read YouTube comments. You'll end up thinking everyone on teh internet is stupid, evil and/or criminally insane. Just sayin'.)



Part of a vast, racist conspiracy to make the NAACP look bad? The one lady insisting she heard an 'r' reminded me of how I could almost swear I heard a 'ck' at the end of the beeps in this video:



Sometimes, just hear what you expect to hear, is what I'm saying. And it's really sad that people expected to hear that.

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Here's a cool story of a camera that traveled from Aruba to Miami, and how the internet helped get it back to its owner. Also with Video taken by a sea turtle along the way.

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Last but not least, over at GC Kitchen Jedi reports on A Gamer Girl E-Zine? Turns out it's SSDD.

Grump, grump. Grumpy McGrumperton, meet Nasty FitzBitchslap. Charmed, I'm sure.

*graaarrr*

But I am a simple creature, and the following video kind of helped:



Barrowman can, of course, sing much better than that. Still, it may be my favorite version of that blasted earworm ever.

So, sometimes things are funny and sometimes they aren't. Here are some things I found funny:


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Yes, sweetie. We swooned.

This one made me ROFL, possibly because of the links in the comments to two stories competing for the worst fanfiction ever.


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By way of the fabulous agirlnamedluna.

20 Facts about Neil Gaiman:

1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check. Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
7. Most agents charge a 15% commission. Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse. The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book. This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
16. Hitler actually won World War II. Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending. However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

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In other news, the Harry Potter Read-Aloud marches on, which really brings out some of the textual glitches.

"Snape always 'sneers' and Malfoy always 'drawls.' It gets on my nerves," said my Beloved, [insert adverb here].

That said, it's still incredibly freaking brilliant. She deserves her millions, I say.

This is the Marry, Shag, or Throw Off a Cliff meme. splix gave me the following choices:

Qui-Gon
Bruck
Xanatos

All of them from the alternate 'verse of HMOWK.

This was hard, because I love them all so much. Heh. But here goes.

Marry Qui-Gon. He's tall and quiet, and he has nice hands -- in these ways he resembles my RL true love, who just the other day said to me: "I'm like a bird, conditioned to offer up the most succulent grasshoppers to my mate." He was not being lovey-dovey, but said it as a statement of fact -- one I immediately recognized as true. He would move heaven and earth for me, and I think that is the sort of spouse Qui-Gon would be, were it not for the whole Jedi gig. Anyway, who wouldn't want a Jedi for a husband? Telemarketer calls during dinner. He answers. "You don't want to sell me aluminum siding. You want to hang up and delete this number from your database."

Shag Xanatos. He has too many issues to be marriage material, at least for me. Dancing with the Dark Side and all -- that's MY job in a relationship. *g* But he's all pale and blue-eyed with that lovely black hair, and fit. Even the prosthetic wouldn't be a turn-off.

Throw off a Cliff Definitely Bruck. My Bruck spends too much time inside his own head -- too much like me to be at all appealing, despite my writerly fascination with describing his phenomenal good looks. Also, the way I've written him, he'd probably survive the fall.

Comment, and I will come up with three choices for you, if you wish.

This is just too much fun NOT to post via narniadear:



*snorffle*

Make your own at:

http://www.cpbintegrated.com/theherofactory/

Also, via lauramcewan, this mind-bogglingly awful couple of pages from a published book:

http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html

"Her breasts were honeycombs and dew-beaded windows, or soft, sweet cheese."

I kid you freaking NOT. That isn't even the worst of it. (In case you're squeamish about following the link, it isn't a sex scene -- just two pages of the most giggle-worthy description you've ever seen! OMG, you must look, so you can laugh with me!)

Confessions of a Completely Justified Shopaholic by Beatrice Blythe (our own narniadear)

I'm tellin' y'all, my homegirls are funny. This is just a recent example. ;)

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I'm wiped out, so I'm calling it quits on the website stuff for now. The kids will be home soon and I need to get dinner ready.

But...

I'm having fun!!

I can't decide whether I like this or am offended by it:


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On the one hand... Bowie. On the other... well, it says "totally gay" like it's a bad thing. I know that idiomatically, the phrase "totally gay" is slipping into gay = bad territory. Yet, the use here seems (to me, anyway) a bit of a thumbed nose at the idea that "totally gay" isn't also really cool. And possibly hot, depending on how you feel about the Goblin King. (Mrowr- tight pants!)

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Watched the end of Being Human, and even though I knew exactly what George was doing from the moment he told the vicar it was time he grew up, I think I am definitely now a huge fan of the show, and looking forward to the next series. As micehell mentioned, they even dressed Mitchell in something not entirely hideous for the last episode. Even though he's not Guy Flanagan, I suppose he'll do. *wink*

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PSA: Heroes kills brain cells. Zachary Quinto is hot, though. I may have to watch it with the volume off, or something. Oh, and shaved-headed military anti-mutant guy? Someone needs to slip him a mickey, strip him naked and take pictures of him with little boys in their underpants. I mean, if they can't kill him without strengthening his cause, I can't think of a better way to make him a complete pariah. But the writers would never do anything that interesting.

See, with some shows, you get the idea that they know where they are going, (Sarah Connor Chronicles, Battlestar Galactica) or even if they really don't, they give a decent impression that they do (Lost, BSG).

But I get the feeling that the Heroes writers have no clue whatsoever, beyond "Make Sylar creepy but sad, and make sure Claire's eyelashes never match any other hair on her body."

Eclipses that last for hours and are visible on opposite sides of the globe... I can overlook that if the characters actions make sense. ACK.

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Last night I dreamed I was on vacation with the Leverage people. Someone offered Nathan a keg for Eliot. He turned it down, which upset Eliot, who had obviously misapprehended the offer due to being quite drunk. At some point, I bit him and he laughed. Then I woke up. It was surreal.

I love that the rollover text says "Inigi/Buttercup 4eva" because that is just so funny.