A Twist of Things to Come

Right now, I'm sort of taking my time going through a process of recapitulation, recalling my life, more or less in detail. It may seem sort of hokey, but I'm beginning to see how vital even the worst mistakes of my life have been to the person I am today.

I'm told that George Foreman has a big framed picture of himself being knocked out at the Rumble in the Jungle, that he points to it as the best thing that ever happened to him.

I think I'm learning that lesson. How vital it has been to remember what it was like to be teased in school, now that my kids are facing some of the same things. How lucky my post-partum depression was, after all, because it showed me I could be more than just my brain chemistry, and how strong my core relationships really are.

To regret those things is to regret who I am because of it, and just can't do that.

So, basically, that's part of why I posted what I did yesterday. I have discovered that the course of my life has flowed around the constant of my closest relationship. It has been the defining characteristic of my life, and even if what blessing I have now are the only ones I will ever have, it is more than enough.

I've also been surprised by two other things that I find miraculous:

1). I was such an unrepentant, nerd girl freakshow that it is either a statistical miracle I found love... or else it just isn't that hard to find, once you relax and let stuff happen.

2). It seems miraculous to me that I have lived to be as old as I am, having been a giant, self-absorbed prat most of that time, that no one has ever punched me right in the face. 'Cause thinking back to stuff I said and did, I want to punch myself. What an idiot! Heh.

In any case, I am blessed to be loved, and to have been spared the beatings I so richly deserved. ;)