A Twist of Things to Come

I'm on the edge of basically feeling like crap. I've just realized that I may well lack the courage to submit my current short stories to *any* market. All my arguments to other people, urging them to submit stories to the pro markets first... nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Complete crap.

I am a big ol' hypocrite, because I can't take my own freaking advice. *sigh*

First off, I do not feel as confident with short stories. There are two I have that are decent, and I should probably send somewhere rather than futzing over them forever, but still.

On the other hand, let's face it -- I'm a bit long in the tooth to be a shrinking violet. I should be tougher than this.

In teh end, the only thing I'm really pleased about at the moment is the baby bird. When I went out today, I saw the mother bird fly out of the shrub and heard the little tweeter in its nest. (I know it's the same one, as there were no other birds in the nest when I put that one back in it.)

My kids think I'm a hero. They think I'm brave and competent. Me, I'm not feeling it so much just now. Oy.

We had such plans for the weekend! We were going to go to Baton Rouge and hit the sales, but we SO didn't. Basically, we went to my Beloved's office on Saturday. Wee Boy wanted to do some collating (for pay!) and I used the office as a place to write without internet distractions. (They have internet, but I deliberately avoided finding out the password.) Then we went to lunch.

It was so hot that our Zoo plans evaporated.

Then yesterday, we'd planned to go to Baton Rouge, but didn't. I still need to get my Big Boy a rash guard for swimming, but we did go get a book I had ordered for him and magazine I wanted. Oh, and the new Lynn Flewelling book.

On the way home we got some groceries, and arrived at our place just as the drizzle stopped and the sun came out.

Wee Boy found a baby bird, twitching and wobbly on the sidewalk. Big Boy stayed with it while we carried stuff up, and came back with rubber gloves and a step ladder. The nest the bird had fallen from was visible, and I reached it easily and put it back. It was right by the next door neighbor's drive, and he pulled in just as I was stepping up on the ladder, and asked what was going on. He seemed surprised when I explained, but I don't get what the big deal was. I think he thought I was doing something to the shrubs dividing the properties, maybe. Because my kids and I have bizarre shrub fetish. *eyeroll*

***

Spent the rest of the day watching Wire in the Blood to which I believe I have become adequately addicted. My Beloved and the boys played video games.

I did make great strides on my novel this weekend, and I think by the time I finish it, the whole of it will be in a solid second draft state. I'm still working out how I work best, I guess.

***

Now I just need to sort out what I'm going to do for the Big Boy's birthday. I think Laser Tag may be cost prohibitive (it's either a Laser Tag party or a new computer, and he wants that computer), so maybe a pool party? Hm.

***

Oh, and over at GC, Nightsky has made a wonderful discovery in Ultimate Geek Food? The Sushi-O-Matic.

I had a fever dream this morning. There was this gorgeous black bird, with shiny black feathers, caught in a cabin where I was staying with some other people. There were also cats, who were wild to get at it. I opened the door to let it out and a cat jumped at it, knocking the door into the bird. It was hurt and lost a bunch of feathers. I ran out and rescued it and was trying to find a place where I could keep it safe until it could fly. I had just decided to try to find a wild bird vet when I woke up. I don't think I've ever seen a black bird as beautiful as that in real life, glossy and sleek.

It reminded me of that summer when the neighbors brought me a nearly dead baby bird that had fallen from a tree between our two properties. The ants were gathering. My niece and her friend (both visiting for a week or two) helped me care for it. Since we weren't sure if it was a seed eater or an insectivore, we used a combination formula at first, then switched to bugs when we realized they had the best effect. I bought bait worms and mashed them up, and we fed it every couple of hours, keeping in an un-airconditioned part of the house. It thrived and soon grew in enough feathers that we could tell it was a robin fledgling. We tried taking out in the yard to let it flap and work up its muscles, but we couldn't keep the animals away. That all took about a week, maybe less.

We ended up calling a local wildlife rehab lady, who asked for notes on all that we had done with it. After reading how we handled it, she tried to encourage me to go into wildlife rehab. Heh. Then, she took the bird to her place, where she had a special outdoor enclosure that would let him flap all he wanted without getting eaten. I think he was eventually released near Canton.

I don't know why my subconscious is dredging up hurt birds now, but that was a very positive experience. I like to think the wee birdie had/is having a good life.

The following is an excerpt from an email sent to me by my Beloved. He said the work is going well, though there are the usual bureaucratic delays in them actually getting paid for the work they've done.

This morning we were driving along listening to a CD I had burned with an old Eric B and Rakim song on it. It goes: "So I start my mission, leave my residence, thinking "How can I get some dead presidents?""
All of the money here has animals on it, so I sez:"Of course, over here it would be "How can I get some rhinoceroses?""
I thought he was going to drive off the road he was laughing so hard...

Good times.

***
There is a mocking bird on my street that imitates the sound of my truck, which sounds like a HUGE pressure cooker. It's so funny.

***

I wish I could stop coughing. It is becoming tiresome.