The best thing about the stupid article that made the rounds earlier this week is that it got people talking about the things that are really important, like sexism, racism, whatever-ism vs. privilege. Whenever a privileged group starts to have to think about their privileged status, they get uncomfortable, and some of them squawk. Like, I'm pretty unaware of whatever unconscious privileges I have on account of appearing Caucasian, or heterosexual, until someone mentions private education as a white privilege, or starts hurling insults at 'breeders.' I want to squawk and say, "But, but my mom was native American, and my family did without a lot of things so that I could have that education! I support LGBTQ rights!" Although that's true, I think the real source of discomfort is in being included in groups that I undeniably belong to and defined by those groups.
Which is exactly what sexism/racism/whatever-ism is. It's uncomfortable to have to be aware of what groups I belong to, and I don't like it, but, hey -- it's nothing that people of color, women, members of various racial or ethnic groups don't have to deal with every day. See, that's what really affects people, is that they have to think about some small aspect of who they are, and how it defines their interactions with everyone else. Not having to think about it is the state of privilege, and to achieve progress, we all have to think about it.
That's one reason that the first line of![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jedi_diplomat's post Girl Cooties and Sci-Fi really resonated with me:
The post scheduled next, by Nightsky, actually goes more in-depth about Invisible Women in science, which is a subject near and dear to my heart. Keep an eye out for it.
My point is that, just because I'm a woman, I have to think about things that men don't. If I wear this, will I get the wrong kind of attention? Would I be able to run in these shoes? If I go out with that group, what is my exit strategy if things get uncomfortable? I have to think about where my drinks come from, and who I might be with and how much I trust them. If I'm running and someone shouts a catcall, I can try to take it as clumsy flattery, but in the back of my head there lurks a hundred headlines and pictures of shallow graves.
Men don't get that -- they don't have to think about it. They see their remarks or jokes as just that, and women who take offense as humorless bitches. What progress means, though, is that we have to think about what we say and do. It's not a matter of worrying that something you say will be "taken the wrong way" but a concern that something you say my might hurt someone. Cause fear, for a flicker of second, or just carelessly reduce them to nothing more than a skin color, a sex object or a sex act. No one likes being defined by a single aspect of who they are, because it's dehumanizing. We're all a bundle contradictions, thoughts, desires and impulses, as humans.
So when men I love squawk about being defined as a 'typical male' I understand how they feel. Privilege is not something we want to think about. Neither is it something we need to apologize for, as it is not something we choose. However, it is something we need to think about, something we must be aware of and deal with if we're all going to get along.
I particularly like what this guy has to say about it, in the context of racism, and a particular remark made carelessly by a person of (presumably) good will:
Which is exactly what sexism/racism/whatever-ism is. It's uncomfortable to have to be aware of what groups I belong to, and I don't like it, but, hey -- it's nothing that people of color, women, members of various racial or ethnic groups don't have to deal with every day. See, that's what really affects people, is that they have to think about some small aspect of who they are, and how it defines their interactions with everyone else. Not having to think about it is the state of privilege, and to achieve progress, we all have to think about it.
That's one reason that the first line of
jedi_diplomat's post Girl Cooties and Sci-Fi really resonated with me:Remember The Invisible Boy from the movie Mystery Men? You know, the kid that was only invisible when no one was looking at him? Yeah, that's not so much a new and exciting superpower, women who love sci-fi have long known that power and we keep trying to get rid of it!
The post scheduled next, by Nightsky, actually goes more in-depth about Invisible Women in science, which is a subject near and dear to my heart. Keep an eye out for it.
My point is that, just because I'm a woman, I have to think about things that men don't. If I wear this, will I get the wrong kind of attention? Would I be able to run in these shoes? If I go out with that group, what is my exit strategy if things get uncomfortable? I have to think about where my drinks come from, and who I might be with and how much I trust them. If I'm running and someone shouts a catcall, I can try to take it as clumsy flattery, but in the back of my head there lurks a hundred headlines and pictures of shallow graves.
Men don't get that -- they don't have to think about it. They see their remarks or jokes as just that, and women who take offense as humorless bitches. What progress means, though, is that we have to think about what we say and do. It's not a matter of worrying that something you say will be "taken the wrong way" but a concern that something you say my might hurt someone. Cause fear, for a flicker of second, or just carelessly reduce them to nothing more than a skin color, a sex object or a sex act. No one likes being defined by a single aspect of who they are, because it's dehumanizing. We're all a bundle contradictions, thoughts, desires and impulses, as humans.
So when men I love squawk about being defined as a 'typical male' I understand how they feel. Privilege is not something we want to think about. Neither is it something we need to apologize for, as it is not something we choose. However, it is something we need to think about, something we must be aware of and deal with if we're all going to get along.
I particularly like what this guy has to say about it, in the context of racism, and a particular remark made carelessly by a person of (presumably) good will: