A Twist of Things to Come

I had a bad morning. I woke up an hour early, with the words, "I thought I'd have more time" bouncing around my head, a leftover from an unpleasant dream. See, I had my kidney ultrasound yesterday, and although I won't get the results until I go back to the nephrologist next month, well, I'm not blind. The technician had a really hard time finding the bottom of my right kidney, because it was so enlarged. A kidney is not normally a large organ, but I had been feeling the increased pressure in that part of my body. I can't slouch now, because it kind of hurts-- they are pressing against my ribs and get squished by my hip bones unless I keep my mid-torso kind of stretched. I watched as she took measurements of several cysts, so while I don't know how bad it is until the doctor tells me, I know it isn't good.

So, I had kind of a pity party this morning. THEN I found out the chapter I posted last night was in a big block of text, which included the lj-cut code. I have no idea how this happened, as I spent a good bit of time last night fiddling with it before I posted. I did a preview before I posted and it looked okay, but I didn't check it after it posted. I just assumed it was fine. Careless of me.

*headdesk*

I must have accidentally clicked something. *sigh* Anyway, that didn't help my mood. Boo-hoo, poor little me.

Then, I watched last night's Supernatural, which was uncommonly awesome, with references to fanfiction, and even slash. "They do know we're brothers, right?" *snerk* Now, I'm not a Supernatural slasher myself, but I know some of you guys write some really awesome stuff in that vein, which is great. But this episode was just... fabulous, on so many levels.

"I am the Prophet... Chuck!"

ROFLMAO!

So, my equanimity restored by the decidedly meta-fiction, mega-funny episode of Supernatural (the writer's remorse for the really awful episodes "Bugs" and "Ghost Ship" was priceless) I set about doing my daily affirmations.

Yeah, corny, huh? I list things I'm grateful for, and things I know I should be grateful for, even when I don't feel it. (I'm grateful for the rain.) So the first damned thing I wrote today? "I'm grateful for polycystic kidney disease." I'm not really feeling it, but I know this is my path, and I know there has to be something I can learn from this. There has to be something good that will come out of it, something I can do. Above all, I need to let my kids see that it's not the end of the world.

Life is good. Really, even with the wacko kidneys, I'm one lucky beeyotch. ;)