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posted by [personal profile] asato_muraki at 11:05am on 01/12/2008 under , , ,
First off:

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My NaNoFiMo was a limited success. I hit the word goal for NaNoWriMo, but I spread the words out over two projects and so did not actually finish anything. Yet. I am easily within 50 pages of the end of the Shape-shifter novel, and I have some good ideas for the re-write. I'm still indecisive about such basic things as POV, but I suppose you can't have everything. Heh.

I have most of the major conflict done, though the plot will need some fortifying at this juncture. All that is left is the agony (I'm really good at agony), one character's self-mutilation and the clothes backwards thing. But the really hard part is done-- it will have to be re-done extensively, but what the heck.

***

I have a confession to make.

I like mouthy, opinionated women. Even when I don't agree with them, even when they are cruel, close-minded and boorish. I generally try not to provoke the latter, it's true. But even when I find a particular tirade pointless and annoying, I'll still pick the mouthy wench over the slink-off-and-boil type of gal. This is mostly because, if you slink off and boil at me, I generally don't notice for quite a while. This tends to make the boiler even angrier, and in the end it's just too much energy expended on something I didn't even know I did.

So, there.

Now, generally speaking, I do put a lot of energy into getting on with people, keeping the peace and so forth. I must be fairly bad at it, though, on account of the number of people I offend regularly.

Also, I offend more women than men. I think this is because women, in general, have a tendency to read more into what I say than I actually intend. Read what I write literally, without so much between the lines, and you'll get a better grip on what I'm saying than if you see implications in what I say, no matter how obvious they may seem. I can be surprisingly oblivious.

While it is possible that when I say something nice there are a dozen not nice things that I might think but choose not to say, that is true of anyone and we'll all be happier if we don't go there. :)

For example, if I don't like a song or a movie or a book that you like -- if I do, in fact, have rather a good time joking about it -- it doesn't mean I don't like you, or value your unique gifts. It just means we disagree about that song, book or movie.

Also, you're a wanker.

;)

***

It's been rainy and foggy here, sort of darkish all day long. I can tell the weather just by looking at my hair. Seriously. *FOOOOOM* Moist air makes my hair go all kinky. (Whereas the rest of me... HAR,HAR!)

***

Things I want to pull the trigger on this week:

DANCE!
Work on a video. (These two items are unrelated.)
Mood:: 'cheerful' cheerful
There are 18 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] inyadreems.livejournal.com at 05:20pm on 01/12/2008
I just saw the "Winner" thing and read your "finished NaNoWriMo" and thought: she's early. Then: OMG it's December. O_O

Well done. You have staying power.

 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 05:45pm on 01/12/2008
Staying power. Heh. I can certainly spew forth many words, at least. >;D
 
posted by [identity profile] emila-wan.livejournal.com at 05:47pm on 01/12/2008
I feel the same way about relationships. I am not subtle. I don't even *get* subtle. The people in my life who *are* subtle are forever reading hidden meanings into my actions and statements, when in fact, WYSIWYG.

And I hate it when I've offended a friend, and she doesn't say anything, but expects me to somehow magically know that I've done so. Then she gets fed up with waiting for me to apologize and tells me I've offended her, but still won't tell me what I've done, because I "ought to know." Well, fuck that. I don't have time to be anybody else's psychotherapist.

I am always more comfortable interacting with men, because most of them are far from subtle also, and they appreciate my ability to express what I think and then get over it.
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 06:03pm on 01/12/2008
I could have freakin' written every word of that. LOL. I had this friend I didn't see much who was mad at me for a long time, and I only found out about when a mutual friend asked me what was up. He'd been talking to her and mentioned he was having dinner with me and some other friends, and she got all cold and distant. So he asked, and I had to tell him I didn't have a clue. He laughed. I didn't ask why, but I could tell he had some familiarity with this sort of thing, and this particular friend.

Women are supposed to like to gossip and all that, but I just really didn't want to know. I don't like talking about people behind their backs. Sometimes people try to draw me in, but it just makes me uncomfortable.

Good to know I'm not the only one this happens to. ;)
 
posted by [identity profile] emila-wan.livejournal.com at 08:52pm on 01/12/2008
Oh! I hate gossip, too. It makes me feel as if I've been slimed.

One of the downsides to this "handicap" is that I don't pay attention to personalities in fandom. I rarely remember who said what, who wrote what, personal details of people's lives, etc. And so many folks consider it a terrible slight when you can't recall something you "ought to" know about them. I can barely keep track of my own life, thanks. I don't have the resources to remember which of you is married and whether or not it's cats or children infesting your houses. :-)
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 11:58pm on 01/12/2008
I'm awful about that sort of thing as well. Keeping people in my life straight is one thing; remembering a backstory for every name in a box is another. I mean, I try, but it is sometimes a challenge.
 
posted by [identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com at 12:29am on 02/12/2008
I don't think you have to. In fact, I'm always surprised when people do. After all, there are so many things going on. It's hard to keep track.
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:37pm on 02/12/2008
Well, I think I keep most of lj buddies straight, at least the ones I interact with regularly. But still, I don't remember details of all the writer's on MA or whatever with whom I do not generally interact. If I do, it's unusual.
 
posted by [identity profile] deadcat-vagrant.livejournal.com at 08:18pm on 01/12/2008
Congratulations on the NaNo spewing! My body betrayed me, but I'm glad to see someone else make it! Who cares if it was on multiple projects - it's the writing that counts. :)


And the communication thing? ...Yeah. Agreed.
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:00am on 02/12/2008
LOL! Thank you. I'm pleased with my progress. Lot of work to do yet, though. I'll probably share some more of it soon. :)
 
posted by [identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com at 11:23pm on 01/12/2008
Wanker? LOL.

Congrats on the NaNo thing. I can barely do 100 words at a time never mind thousands so well done.

As for the boil vs bold, I tend to like someone in between. I'm not an in-your-face kind of person usually although I will get there if I think I need to. I don't boil much but I can see that some people have problems telling it like it is.

And I love to gossip. But I also won't say things that might offend people just because I don't usually want to hurt their feelings. But again I might if the situation warrents it.
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:04am on 02/12/2008
See, I'm usually more like you, myself. I don't want to offend, and try not to do it. I do sometimes have trouble telling it like it is. I usually have to be cornered before I do.

Which is why I like to befriend mouthy bitches. ;) I always know where I stand with them, even if it's in the dog house. Takes the guesswork out of it, which for me is usually the hardest part.

Also, I figured "wanker" is a safe insult, since mostly it's true. Who hasn't had an occasional wank?

(Nobody answer that question, please. I don't really want to know.)
 
posted by [identity profile] mackillian.livejournal.com at 11:50pm on 01/12/2008
Also, you're a wanker.


Yeah? Well, you're a jerkface.

So there.
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:09am on 02/12/2008
*jerks your face*
 
posted by [identity profile] narniadear.livejournal.com at 02:26am on 02/12/2008
Congrats on the Nano!! I wish I could read it. :)

As for the rest of your post, I'm still trying to decide if I should publicly react to that post last night. I was so stunned and hurt by it that I didn't quite know what to do. I've worked hard not to make my political and moral beliefs a part of how I choose my friends because those beliefs don't have anything to do with the people I value and love. But maybe others don't feel the same way. I'm wondering if I shouldn't just put everything out there and give everyone the option of defriending me if they want to. I mean, they always have that option, but maybe a no questions asked kind of an option.

This isn't really directed at you. I've just been in a state of bothered all day and I'm thinking out loud here in your comments. Sorry. :)
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:55pm on 02/12/2008
Oh, honey. I really do know how you feel, if we're talking about the same post. It was shocking, which always impresses me, because I wish I was so sure of myself that I could be belligerent about it. I'm not, and I've always cared more about not hurting the people in my life than expressing myself at top volume. I think it's because I change my mind about things sometimes, or I'm at least aware that other people's ideas are as valid as mine, and I could be the one who's wrong.

I would LOVE to be so sure of my own rightness that these other things didn't matter, but the truth is, I'd be a totally different person than I am if I did, and probably not one I'd like being.

Like, yesterday with that one post, I was torn about quoting foul language. On the one hand, the c-word is probably the worst in my book. On the other hand, it made me blow milk out my nose.

So, for me, it's always a tug of war between wanting to be kind and loving and sensitive to everyone (Like, truly enlightened or something) and your basic attention-getting, ego grab. I'm generally ashamed when I do the Ego Dance, but I still admire hard to get along with, irascible folk because, though it something I'd be good at, considering the times I make people angry when I certainly don't intend to do so, it's not something I have the stomach for, generally.

For example, I feel terrible that my admitting admiration for a post that hurt your feelings has probably also hurt your feelings. Personally, I LIKE having people on my flist who disagree with me about stuff. Keeps me honest. *big ol' hug*
 
posted by [identity profile] yourprecious.livejournal.com at 05:02am on 02/12/2008
Ah, life twin. We should live in the same city.

I want to read these stories! I have plenty of free time doing class prep or whatever...
 
posted by [identity profile] asatomuraki.livejournal.com at 12:35pm on 02/12/2008
LOL! We do have similar struggles, don't we? I can certainly encourage you in that these misunderstandings happen less and less in person, though they are still quite common on the internet. *pat,pat*

I can send you some stuff when I've polished it. Right now, it's all a mess on account of the speed and general disregard for coherence that goes along with those time constraints.

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