A Twist of Things to Come

Nightsky just found the coolest thing on Etsy. O_o

So there's a big deal being made about GLBT literature, who writes it and how they identify themselves, and it singes my biscuits.

It's not just because the last call for submissions I got specifically said that female writers had to use a male or gender-neutral pen name, though that was annoying (I had done it already, but still).

It's not even the fact that as writers, it's basically our job to make things up and to be told that we can only make things up about people who are like us is kind of insulting.

No, what chaps my ass is that we're being asked to define ourselves by whomever (or whatever) we've had sex with, or would like to have sex with and excuse me, but that's not really anybody's freaking business.I know that to self-identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual is a powerful thing for a lot of people, but I think most of us of a certain age acknowledge that who we're attracted to can be a very fluid thing that frustrates our own attempts to label it.

I know that basically the world is, and always has been, out to 'box' you. People are uncomfortable if they don't know what sort of box to sort you into, and so they seek information. Once you give them the information they are after, they put you in the appropriate box and expect you to behave accordingly. The gay box, the straight box, the smoker box, the non-smoker box, the vegan box, the big-nosed box -- what the heck ever.

Sometimes, boxes are useful didactic tools. Like, when I lived in Georgia, the "My Marriage Doesn't Need Protecting" thing, was actually very useful politically, because people assumed that being married with kids and PTA memberships, etc. was a box that carried certain assumptions about your stance on SSM. So saying, "I'm in your box and I don't agree with you" was a powerful tool in that context.

In a more liberal context, that might not have been the case, but where I was, it was too powerful a tool not use. I know some folks were upset by that, either because they didn't like the thought of breeders co-opting their cause, or because they had some (understandable, considering our society) sexuality-based inferiority issues. In any case, it amounted to "don't rub your preferences in my face," a sentiment that is bigoted no matter who speaks it or what they do with their tender bits in private moments.

So, yeah. I'm married. I have two gorgeous sons. I've been attracted to a variety of people, but I'm exclusively Ronsexual in practice, having chosen my first lover carefully, married him because I love him and stayed married to him because he's good. Make of that what you will.

But don't you dare tell me what I can or cannot imagine. I'll write what is in me to write. You don't have to freaking read it, you know.

And if I stand up for what I believe is right in a way that I choose, and you want to nit-pick that based on what's in my undies and how I use it, that's fine. We all get to do stupid things on our journey, so I won't hold it against you.

With writing, as with personal convictions of right and wrong... well, Craig Ferguson said it best:

"Do what you love, and what you're proud of, and you're fucking bulletproof...If you do what you absolutely believe to be right, you're fucking bulletproof."

When you really believe in what you do, the haters are irrelevant. I've always known this on some level, but never really felt it until now. Took me long enough.

I'm fucking bullet-proof, bitches!