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The receptionist at my optometrist's office just called to confirm an appointment for me for next month. She was so nice. She noticed I didn't sound well, and was generally engaging and pleasant, and ended the call with a wish for me to feel better. I really like her.
Thing is, when I first started going there, she was terse and snippy, answering pleasant overtures with suspicious looks and determined silence. I persisted in being nice, and at some point well before my cataract surgery a few years ago, there was a distinct thaw. She smiles at me, like she's pleased to see me, and truly I am pleased to interact with her. She's a very lovely, bubbly person, when she's not expecting people to be mean (which, I think, is a natural consequence of being in a long-term public contact job).
So, there's an example of a person who was once not the most pleasant person I encountered regularly in my life, and now it puts a smile on my face when talk to her.
There's a life lesson in there, somewhere.
***
On the other side of life lessons, I suppose I've lived a quite sheltered life. I've known all kinds of people and found something to relate to in most of them, when I bothered to try.
Very, very recently, I discovered (quite by accident) that angry, man-hating lesbians actually exist. This was a shock to me. Since high school, and certainly most of my life, I've had a lot of cool people in my life who were diverse in their tastes, and it never mattered. I thought the angry, man-hating lesbian was just another ugly stereotype, like smart girls have dark hair, glasses and are unpopular. Real life is always more complicated, more interesting, than stereotypes. People are more faceted than that.
But I recently met a person who who seemed to be pursuing the Man-Hating Lesbian/Angry Crazy Person archetype with willful determination. I can't decide if it was sad, scary or jaw-droppingly awesome in a comical way. I was shocked and surprised, but upon reflection I just think how exhausting it must be to be that angry and deliberately caustic, even a portion the time.
And then I felt really bad for her. Not that I have any desire to bring such a unhealthy influence into my life (I know my limits and pick my battles, and the cost/benefit analysis on this one is clear), but people don't get that angry and defensive without being hurt a lot. People don't lash out like that unless they have felt helpless and powerless, I think. I'm very fortunate to not have experienced that feeling very often, or very strongly.
In any case, the world is a beautiful and horrible place. Mostly we do what we feel have to do, based on what we've experienced of it. I understand that much.
I'm glad I don't have to live anyone else's life but my own (I believe my troubles are mine for a reason, and I can bear them), but I still wish I understood other people better. That's probably why I write.
People are awesome, interesting things.
Thing is, when I first started going there, she was terse and snippy, answering pleasant overtures with suspicious looks and determined silence. I persisted in being nice, and at some point well before my cataract surgery a few years ago, there was a distinct thaw. She smiles at me, like she's pleased to see me, and truly I am pleased to interact with her. She's a very lovely, bubbly person, when she's not expecting people to be mean (which, I think, is a natural consequence of being in a long-term public contact job).
So, there's an example of a person who was once not the most pleasant person I encountered regularly in my life, and now it puts a smile on my face when talk to her.
There's a life lesson in there, somewhere.
***
On the other side of life lessons, I suppose I've lived a quite sheltered life. I've known all kinds of people and found something to relate to in most of them, when I bothered to try.
Very, very recently, I discovered (quite by accident) that angry, man-hating lesbians actually exist. This was a shock to me. Since high school, and certainly most of my life, I've had a lot of cool people in my life who were diverse in their tastes, and it never mattered. I thought the angry, man-hating lesbian was just another ugly stereotype, like smart girls have dark hair, glasses and are unpopular. Real life is always more complicated, more interesting, than stereotypes. People are more faceted than that.
But I recently met a person who who seemed to be pursuing the Man-Hating Lesbian/Angry Crazy Person archetype with willful determination. I can't decide if it was sad, scary or jaw-droppingly awesome in a comical way. I was shocked and surprised, but upon reflection I just think how exhausting it must be to be that angry and deliberately caustic, even a portion the time.
And then I felt really bad for her. Not that I have any desire to bring such a unhealthy influence into my life (I know my limits and pick my battles, and the cost/benefit analysis on this one is clear), but people don't get that angry and defensive without being hurt a lot. People don't lash out like that unless they have felt helpless and powerless, I think. I'm very fortunate to not have experienced that feeling very often, or very strongly.
In any case, the world is a beautiful and horrible place. Mostly we do what we feel have to do, based on what we've experienced of it. I understand that much.
I'm glad I don't have to live anyone else's life but my own (I believe my troubles are mine for a reason, and I can bear them), but I still wish I understood other people better. That's probably why I write.
People are awesome, interesting things.
sick
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